Bruce Jenner Interview - opinion

Like all the other millions of people I was very excited to see what this interview was all about. I have been a Kardashian fan for a long time. I have a deep respect for Bruce. He's an amazing athlete and from all I can tell a very good dad. This interview touched some really deep feeling about this that I didn't know I had. 

I will admit as much as anyone watching I had no idea where this was going to go. Would he come out saying he's a woman and cross dress throughout? At first I wondered if this was a publicity stunt and Diane Sawyer said many had the same question. But when you really look at his eyes you know it's for real. This would be a pretty elaborate stunt, even for a Kardashian/Jenner. 

Looking back at his Olympic journey he was so masculine and embodied everything you think of when you see a male athlete. Large muscles, masculine features and you almost can see the testosterone pouring out of him. It's baffling that he felt like a woman inside even in such a masculine body. 

Throughout the interview it felt like he was getting happier and happier talking about his new self ...her. It was like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders. He felt free. Free from this secret he had been hiding for 60 years. Imagine that feeling? 

I have respect for his doing this interview. He didn't have to. But unfortunately with our lives today with social media, paparazzi, and reality tv there really wasn't any way to hide it from the world. His whole journey is documented in photos and film. I can't imagine having my every move captured on film. For instance when he was in that horrific deadly car accident and the paparazzi were there filming the whole thing. Have some respect people! 

I personally do not understand this gender identity / transgender thing nor will I ever. I do however feel it is a real thing and with so many people going through it it need to be talked about and accepted more. A doctor said she has had patients as young as 18 months know they were born in the wrong body....that's Emmy's age. 

As a Christian it does say in the Bible that a man shouldn't dress in women's clothing.  Like the doctor said in the interview, it obviously was happening back then because they had to say don't do it. Seriously though, why does it matter if he wears woman's clothing? Imaging if we were were all blind. We wouldn't have ANY idea if we were wearing girls or boys clothes. Would it matter then?

I am baffled (although not much I guess) about how many people out there are judging Bruce. As well as other transgender people. We judge because it is weird and different. I am guilty of judging people, I will admit. But in the end there is only 1 person who can judge a person and that is God. The mean and hurtful things I have read and heard about this make me sick to my stomach. He is a human like you and me and deserves respect. You might not agree with his decisions but he/she still has feelings and a soul. 

I do swing towards the more conservative side of the spectrum in my life and life choices. But in all reality I may be one of the most open people when it comes to different lifestyles. I grew up with a family member who was gay. I actually didn't realize he was until I was older. I just thought it was normal to have 2 uncles. I loved them both equally. Some of our closest friends are lesbians. I always forget this because they are just our dear friends. I hate labeling people like that. It's not fair. 

I think it's amazing that his children are there to support him through this. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to share with his family. He's lucky to have their support and understanding. It would be hard for anyone to hear that after so long things would change. But I think it's better now that they are adults rather than when they were children. 

All in all it was a very good interview. Opened my eyes to his life and transition into being a woman. Of course there are a million questions running through my head but most will never be answered and that ok. 

Finer Family Brain Dump

I have a lot on my mind and just want to get it all out there.....

First of all this week was a long week. I'm not sure why just way. Had a lot of things to do for a lot of people. Thankful it's Friday. Although as a mom a Friday feels like any other day. 

Today was Shawn's last day of work for 2.5 months. It's weird. The last time he was home for this long was the time he was unemployed. It makes me think back to that time. It was such a difficult time in our lives. Transitioning to married life, getting settled in our new house, dealing with anxiety etc. If I learned one thing from that experience it was not to take it for granted. Although Shawn will be recovering from surgery we are going to treasure this time together! 

Tonight we had crazy weather. The news has been talking about tornados and severe weather all week. Being me I had our "shelter" in the bathroom ready all 3 days. Overkill? Yes!! Today when we were put under a Tornado Watch I giggled because let's face it I have lost faith in the weathermen. Temporarily that is!! 😜 I went ahead and put the board up over the window and got things ready. We took our car over to my parents garage just incase there was hail. When I came home I put the kids in bed and went to watch the weather with Shawn. Immediately they started talking about the severe storm in Tarrant County. It wasn't 5 minutes later that the sky turned green. I've always heard about the pea green. It was weird. Then they news said they were issuing a Tornado Warning for the TCU area and around Hulen Mall. We got the kids and the cat in the bathroom and waited it out. Thankfully we didn't have any damage or loss of power. We did have an 80mph wind gust here. Yikes!! Thank goodness I had the storm shelter ready! 

This just made me laugh! I love looking at all the funny things on Pinterest and sharing them with friends! And it makes my day when friends send them to me. Seriously it's that simple. 

And another!!!! Haha those scary tomatoes. 

I am really bummed about this Blue Bell ice cream recall. It's scary yes but honestly I don't think the loyal ice cream eaters will not go back to eating it. I will! Haha It's such a summer staple. There's nothing better than ice cream on a hot Texas summer day! 

I got my hair done! Added a little blonde back. I love my natural hair but just couldn't explain some of my thoughts! Need an excuse! Plus it's just "me" to have blonde hair. Here I am cooking. 

Alright. That is all! 

Pre-op: 6 days - talking to your kids about surgery

A little lightheartedness during this time helps! 

As this surgery grows near it's becoming more and more real, this is actually going to happen. This afternoon we have a pre-op appointment with the surgeon and should know more about time and length of the surgery. We have a ton of questions, well atleast I do! 

One of our biggest challenges is how much do we tell the kiddos, mostly Reid. Emmy has no idea what is going on since she is only 18 months old. Although she is very helpful in getting Shawn's cane for him and picking things up that he drops. Reid, being 4.5, however is very aware of things going on. 

When Shawn's hip really started to deteriorate Reid picked up on this. Daddy couldn't play like he used to and had to sit down a lot to play catch. We were very open with him about how much pain daddy was in. We told him that his hips hurt and that he needs to take breaks a lot. Reid understood and would say "daddy's hips hurt so he can't play right now." I quickly learned how to play catch, wrestle, and fight monsters and bad guys!

Of course this also backfired a little. The other day when I asked Reid to pick up his toys in the playroom of course his "hips hurt" so he couldn't move off the couch. Little toot!! 

We told him a few months ago when we had an official date for surgery that daddy would be getting new hips. We explained that they would be putting the new hips inside daddy. He had a lot of questions. Mostly when not so much how. For a few weeks every time Shawn left the house Reid would ask "did you get new hips?" This now has ended. I think he forgot that he was actually getting new ones. 

One thing I am struggling with is how much do we include him in this process. Next Wedneday he will be in school during surgery. I am hoping that we can have a normal day as usual with his schedule. To keep things calm. My mom will be staying with Emmy and picking him up from school. We have done this before so it won't be out of the ordinary. 

Then do we take him to the hospital to see daddy? I just don't know how he will react to that. When I had Emmy he could have cared less about his new baby sister he was more concerned about my IV booboo. And if I was ok. He's very emotional about us especially when one of us is hurt. Will he be traumatized seeing Shawn in so much pain? In so many ways I want to keep him sheltered from it all and keep this childhood innocence forever! 

After the surgery we will have to explain to Reid how much he can touch / not touch Shawn. I know it's going to be so hard not to let him jump on daddy and wrestle. Hopefully he will understand that daddy needs to heal. 

I probably shouldn't worry or plan all this right now because a lot of it will be decided when the time comes...in 6 days. 

Pre-Op - 10 days away

We are almost to the single digits in days before hip replacement surgery #1. I can't believe it almost here. 

I met Shawn 13 years ago on April 17, 2002. That night Shawn and I talked for hours sitting outside on a beautiful spring night. He explained everything about the bone disease in his hips, multiple epiphyseal dysplasia. 

From Wiki: multiple epiphyseal dysplasia (MED) is a rare genetic disorder (dominant form—1 in 10,000 births) which affects the growing ends of bones. Bones usually elongate by a process that involves the depositing of cartilage at the ends of the bones, called ossification. This cartilage then mineralizes and hardens to become bone. In MED, this process is defective.

I had no idea what it meant or if it was really serious or not. He didn't show his pain that night. If you had told me then that 13 years later we would be anxiously awaiting hip replacement surgeries I would have laughed. 

Throughout the last 13 years his hips have greatly disintegrated. So much so the last 3 months he hasn't been able to do more than walk a few feet before his hips start throbbing, or pop out of place. It's heart breaking to say the least. He's such a proud man and it's killing him not to be able to do simple tasks such as playing with his children or taking off his socks. 

Our life right now is shifting into the new "normal."  I have had to take on the responsibilities that we normally share as a team and the tasks that he is responsible for. Such as mowing the yard, who knew I could do it! Granted I bruised my finger, sliced a fingernail off and somehow made the mower backfire. But the grass was cut! It's very challenging for me to accept these new roles on top of my own. Taking care of the kids, the house, my husband, work, helping my mom and dad while figuring out my own health issues. It's a lot to take on. 

But there's that little clause in our marriage vows that I repeat on a daily basis. "In sickness and in health." Right now it is my turn to take care of him. There may come a time in the future where he needs to take care of me and I know for sure he would take great care of me. So I am here to take care of him! 

Things to remember

Medical Journey

I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I knew something was wrong but I do remember the first time I felt this pain. I was about 4 months pregnant with Reid. I woke up in the middle of the night and thought oh no I have the flu. My arms and legs hurt like I have never felt before. Now 4.5 years later I have an answer. 

The doctor said it was just a weird pregnancy symptom. They always chalk it up to pregnancy and that's definitely a valid answer because pregnancy does weird things to your body. She ran a few tests and my thyroid was a little elevated but not enough to warrant anything. And wouldn't you know the day I had Reid the pain stopped. 

The second I got pregnant with Emmy I knew I was pregnant before the positive test because my arms and legs started hurting. This pregnancy was rough. I was in so much pain from literally day one. 

Again she tested my thyroid and it was a little elevated but again nothing to do about it. As soon as Emmy was born the pain stopped again! Maybe it was just pregnancy?!

After Emmy's first birthday the pain came back. I got scared I was pregnant. Phew nope! Just pain and excruciating at that. I chalked it up to carrying 2 children and running around like ...well... a mom! But then I got a lot of other weird symptoms. 

My hair and my nails started to break easily. My vision started doing weird things. Doubling and coming in and out of focus. I was cold which is very unlike me! My skin was dry. I would sweat at weird times/places and all the time  But worst of all was the weight gain. 

I've struggled with weight issues in my past. It wasn't pretty. Yes after both pregnancies it's been hard to lose the weight. Partly because of postpartum issues. I just kept putting on the weight. But then I noticed no matter how healthy I ate the scale would creep up. And then 24 pounds in 3 month? WHAT?? I felt horrible. 

Between the pain and the weight I just knew something wasn't right. I made an appointment with my primary doctor. I will admit this visit was over due. 

Now one thing you need to know is I loath doctor's offices. Like with a passion. Sitting with other people freaks me out to the high heavens. Get me to the room and I'm fine. But waiting not so much. I had Shawn come with me for moral support. 

I saw the doctor and told her everything that was going on. She asked a ton of questions too. The biggest was my family history of autoimmune diseases. Well since I am adopted I don't know any of my medical history. I so wish I knew something, anything. After seeing the her I went and got my blood drawn. 

Then waited for the results. The first ones came in and looked ok. I have high cholesterol which is fine. Not crazy high but enough. All the other stuff looked good! Glucose, liver function, kidney function, blood cell counts etc. Then the thyroid number came through and I was a 13.7 with the normal range expected to be between 2-5. There is was Hypothyroidism. But everything else looked good.

The nurse called and put me on synthroid to start and see them again in 6 weeks. 

So here goes the beginning of my health story. My quest to figure this all out! 

This is how I feel!